Bundesliga I seem to play the fewest of the big leagues perhaps because German is utterly incomprehensible to me. Yeah, I Google translate but still. Understand England, France, Spain and Italy better. This does seem a fair price on DNB Friday between two bad clubs. Hamburg SV is fourth from bottom and has a minus-12 goal differential but at least has three wins overall and is 2-1 at home. Borussia M -- no chance I am spelling that out -- has a single win and is bottom table. Die Fohlen have allowed a league-high 22 goals in those eight games. Both sides have some player availability issues but it appears worse for the visitors, especially on attack led by Hugo Bolin (he's out).

I appear to be going through some sort of American Werewolf in London syndrome -- wonderful old-school movie if not seen -- as I suddenly am David Attenborough (the Voice of Heaven) at European soccer but completely mediocre in the good ol USA at everything else. Identity theft? I simply think I understand the math of soccer and hockey really well and the risks. Whereas NFL ... I'll leave that to the super-experts for the most part. NBA has become absurd injury-wise and non-bettable until 5 minutes before tip. Maybe I should learn Lacrosse? (not Izod, I'm a Polo guy).

I honestly try to avoid picking Freiburg games because for some reason then I get Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'" in my head and can't get it out for like days. Good song sure but not on a continuous mental loop. The hosts are only three points out of the Bundesliga lead, while Schalke 04 -- no song issues there -- is near bottom of table. Starting midfielder Dejan Ljubicic remains out. Think you know the drill: Likely only a draw gets us but DNB is just too pricy sadly.

Anytime I get a chance to pick an FC Cologne game and think of the Pierre Cardin/Drakkar smell-filled 80s, I'm going to. No fun if I say the actual name Koln, and I know it sounds nothing like Cologne; also have no idea what button on my keyboard does the umlaut. The visitors seem to have some player availability concerns. Werder Bremen did look excellent last time out in routing RB Leipzig but that was on home pitch. The River Islanders were blown to pieces in their last roadie, 4-1, and lost last season's visit to RheinEnergieStadion by two goals. So they run words together in Germany huh? OKthen. Model has a draw.

Schalke makes its return to the Bundesliga at Augsburg, which became a completely different club last December when Manuel Baum took over as interim coach. Only four teams in the league entering the weekend had more points than Augsburg since then. That side is unbeaten in the past three in this series but they haven't played since 2022, the last time Schalke was in the top flight. Its team captain in Kenan Karaman is out injured.

I didn't know the rather unique Bundesliga relegation rules until my friend and long-time SL subscriber Ed explained it to me on our Discord. Long story short, St. Pauli has reason to care in the finale as it could climb as high as third-to-last (16th). The bottom two in the league are kicked. Third-to-last enters a two-legged playoff against the third-place team from Zeitgeist 2 or whatever the lower-tier league is called for the final spot in next season's Bundesliga. Wolfsburg is in the same position but has a fairly large list of guys out. A draw works just fine for me and might be enough for Wolfsburg to finish in 16th as it holds all tiebreakers currently. St. Pauli can't afford a draw.

Big number, yes, but two things: First, I give myself a pass on DNB bigger numbers because in my mind I'm getting two wagers in one in a way. (Again, it's why I miss NHL -1.) Second, I think it should be quite a bit higher. Heidenheim is the worst team in German soccer and will be relegated. So I suppose it can throw caution to the wind, but it's not like you can call flea-flickers and double-reverses (right?) in this type of football. FC Cologne is trying to avoid "abstieg" -- gosh I hope I can trust Google Translate and that's not a curse word or something. A win here probably does the trick. Two starting defenders on the visitors are in doubt.

Dang it! I had this at -160 DNB the other day but wanted to wait for lineups and now I obviously lost 30 cents. Do I sweat 30 cents? Not particularly, but not getting a number I thought would jump is irksome. Again, same sort of deal as my Friday Serie A play (win): Nothing really to play for, so why wouldn't we take the home team to at worst draw? Answer: We shall. Mönchengladbach, which sounds like a great beer and also the static the Poltergeist little girl heard on the TV, has some major player availability questions led by leading scorer Haris Tabakovic (12 goals domestically). Guessing his iffy status is why this has jumped, but I don't speak German.

Battle of the Burgs! Feel like I should have a Pittsburgh metaphor here, but it's escaping me at the moment. Would like a Primanti Bros. sandwich right now, though, that's for sure. I think this probably draws today but really cheap price so definitely worth the risk on DNB. Freiburg is 18 points better in the Bundesliga. The hosts have lost only twice in league play at home since August and one of those was to superpower Bayern Munich in a game the Breisgau Brazilians should have won. They won this reverse fixture, 4-3 on Dec. 20.

Bayern Munich is miles -- sorry, kilometers -- better than Mainz, but I don't really understand why the Bavarians would play anyone of note/care in this one Saturday. They clinched the Bundesliga title on Sunday, have a German Cup semifinal game Wednesday vs. rival Bayer Leverkusen and then a Champions League semifinal match vs. PSG on the Tuesday after this. So, yeah, Saturday feels like the biggest sandwich game in German soccer history (that's why I'm jumping the number now before the books get wise). I definitely considered Mainz at +475 ....

To me, an Under 3.5 play when it's not involving PSG or Man City or Barcelona or Real Madrid or Bayern Munich, well, I think that's a have-to. I'll no longer play Champions League totals because that's clearly different. But domestic? Jeong Woo-Yeong (3G, 1A) is out for FC Union Berlin as he's directing Beef season 3 (I kid, but season 2 is truly epic television). This will likely be if/how many the visitors score because they can't defend. If it's no more than 1, I think we are good but definitely hoping for a clean sheet. Die Eisernen have been held to a goal or fewer in eight straight in all competitions.

Das Boot! My Bundesliga play Saturday failed. Why did I previously refuse to bet this sport? Absurd statistical domination that does not matter at all. FC Union Berlin outshot its terrible road opponent Wolfsburg 25-5 and out-cornered 11-4 and still lost. OK. I do like this Sunday one better -- and that the excellent Martin Green is also on it is a boost. Was thinking about a half but now will bet to win. Certainly seems a fair price considering Heidenheim is the worst team in the league by far. Freiburg's only loss in the past six is to maybe the best team in the world in Bayern Munich. And yet the Breisgau Brazilians (that's interesting, sounds like a 1980s all-female band) aren't -1?

This is a perplexing number -- a fair amount too cheap in my opinion. Again, where a team sits in the table is not everything but it's something and FC Union Berlin is 11th in the Bundesliga (granted, been pretty bad in the New Year) with 32 points and Wolfsburg second-to-last with 21 points. And the Wolves have some injury concerns. They have lost seven in a row away and have never won at FC Union Berlin -- which will have a historic new manager for this one in Marie-Louise Eta. She is the first woman in charge of a men's team in the Bundesliga. Good for her, hope the debut is a success. Wolfsburg is on its third manager of the season.

Always a fan of outlier 3.5 totals when all the other books have 2.5 as is the case for this Bundesliga matchup on Saturday. Both are top half of the table in teams of fewest goals allowed. If Hoffenheim is held to just two then I think golden. The sides drew 1-1 in November, with one an own goal and the other in the 88th minute. Four straight and six of Mainz's past seven in all competitions has landed Under 3.5. Hoffenheim starting midfielder Leon Avdullahu is out and the side has stayed Under 3.5 in three straight matches at home. Our model has 3.2 goals scored.

Freiburg sits eighth in the Bundesliga, six points ahead of FC Union Berlin. The visitors have a single win in their past 10. Freiburg is on a 16-game unbeaten steak at home and has won five of the past six at Europa-Park Stadion. FC Union Berlin has some player availability concerns on defense led by the suspended Leopold Querfeld. The clubs drew in November and that may well happen again. Wish "Draw No Bet" was "Date No Bet" as that would have saved me so much time in life ...