Futurepedia: Your online resource for a sports almanac from 2057 - SPiN

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following excerpts are from a sports almanac published in 2057 that chronicles sports topics from the past 50 years. Look for it in the next five decades from the shelves of Wal-TargetMart for $199.99.

VIDEO GAMES

Madden Curse: Late 20th and early 21st century superstition that an appearance on the cover for the Madden NFL video game (1989-2033) would result in a hard-luck year in real life. Ultimate cited example is Miami Sound Machine fullback Franklin F. Franklinson, who on the eve of the game's 2026 release was run over by the MaddenCruiser.

Pac-Man: Video game featuring a yellow ball who chomps dots while evading ghosts. Not to be confused with Adam "Pacman" Jones (college football: West Virginia (2002-2004); National Football League: Tennessee (2005-2006), Charlotte (2008), Miami (2009), Denver (2010), Oakland (2010-2015); National Football League commissioner (2017-2027); Wheel of Fortune host (2028-2041)).

SPORTS ORGANIZATIONS: Major League Baseball

Home run: The act of hitting a baseball out of the field of play between the foul poles. While baseball fans used to delight in keeping track of how many home runs a player could hit, Major League Baseball decided in 2018 there was too much controversy in honoring the career home record in an era of escalating performance enhancers. Thus, every outfield fence became 900 feet tall.

All-Star Game: Also known as Major League Baseball's "Mid-Season Classic," this game at one time was just considered a meaningless exhibition. Today, its outcome affects: A) Home field advantage in the World Series; B) The identity of People.com's annual "Sexiest Man Alive"; C) Whether middle relievers are allowed to have facial hair for the rest of the season; D) Whether wild card teams can fly or walk to their opponents' ballparks through the playoffs; E) Whether the San Diego Chicken will ever be seen alive again.

Wrigley Field's Seventh-Inning Stretch: One-time tradition where celebrities led the crowd in singing Take Me Out to the Ball Game. Abolished in 2036 when aging rapper 50 Cent dropped 927 F-bombs during his rendition.

EXTINCT SPORTS LEAGUES

Major League Soccer (MLS): Final year of play was 2011. In last-ditch effort to increase popularity, players were instructed to let the Los Angeles Galaxy's David Beckham go to the goal unimpeded to score whenever he touched the ball.

Ultimate Extreme Bowling (UEB): Introduced in 2017, league only lasted one frame. Idea to have bowling pins explode when they were knocked down sounded fun, but it turns out no one ever thought to make sure the end of the lanes had been fireproofed.

Fishing For Pit Bulls (FFPB): Introduced in 2015, no one believed league founder Michael Vick that it was a good idea to stock lakes with pit bulls. Vick's excuse that he thought dogs could survive underwater for long periods of time fell on deaf ears.

Professional Women's Fencing (PWF): Began on sound footing in 2025, and true to its Olympic roots. Problems began in 2028 when dip in league attendance was answered in panic fashion by hiring Vince McMahon Entertainment to take over. By changing from fencing to a style that more harkened to medieval gladiator fighting, only Dungeons and Dragons freaks were interested.

GENERAL SPORTS ENTRIES

"Tiger Slams": Eldrick "Tiger" Woods earned "Tiger Slam I" in 2000-2001. "Tiger Slam II" occurred in 2011-2012. There was nearly a "Tiger Slam III" in 2014-2015, but Woods forfeited the British Open that year when he accidentally signed the wrong scorecard on the final day. His excuse? He lost his train of thought when he heard Warner Bros. was making Police Academy 10.

Car of Tomorrow 2024: NASCAR lost a $20 billion lawsuit to D.C. Comics when the entertainment company proved that this Car of Tomorrow was really stolen from plans for Batman vs. Superman vs. Predator's Batmobile.

Car of Tomorrow 2034: Ruled impractical when for all its advanced technology, the engineers accidentally installed the seats backward.

Car of Tomorrow 2044: Ruled ineligible when it was revealed it was really a "Car of Tomorrow 2144" that traveled back in time.

Car of Tomorrow 2054: Became impractical to operate because the only fuel it could run on was created by liquefying an endangered species of toad from the Amazon rainforest, which by 2051 was the size of New York City's Central Park.