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"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty." -- Edward R. Murrow
When you decide to abandon your favorite team and start thumbing rides on a bandwagon, you need to do some soul searching first. So after months of contemplation, I began rummaging through my college notebooks for some firmer footing.
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And there, in a dusty Mead three-subject notebook labeled "Economics", was my new mantra:
"The Law of Diminishing Returns -- As more investment in an area is made, overall return on that investment increases at a declining rate."
With that, I decided to ditch the Pittsburgh Pirates and reclaim my love of baseball.
Economics aside, The Law of Diminishing Returns tells us that there is a point in any endeavor when it makes no sense to continue.
Consider the pizza you order when you're starving. The first slice is heaven. The second and third are nearly as good. The fourth is OK. Eating any more is a mistake. Almost everything has a point of diminishing returns -- the third shot of tequilla, 27th hole of golf and your second date with Lindsay Lohan.
I have never waived in the support of my favorite teams. The Penguins and Steelers have been through low points, I've never seen Pitt win a major championship and I am a rabid Indiana basketball fan even though they currently have more sanctions than players. But all these teams, in some way, give me hope.
The Pirates have, however, had a losing record for the last 15 years and 2008 will undoubtedly be their 16th. The Pirates are a marvel of natural baseball law. They simply do not change in any way. They sustain mediocrity without picking up momentum in either direction.
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| The days of Roberto Clemente and championship success are long gone, and many fans have followed. (Getty Images) |
The Pirates are the perpetual rebuilding machine.
I was at a bar last week watching a game and four separate people asked me the same question: "So, how many games are they under .500?" I swear, it is the question that dominates 90 percent of baseball talk in the area.
This leads me to Rule 29.B, Article 11 of my never-to-be published fan handbook:
If you are over 20 years old and your team hasn't had a winning record for more than half of your life, you are free to root for another team without penalty.
So, with the help of my readers, I am choosing another team to root for. A hat I can wear proudly. A pennant chase I can call my own. Somewhere where hope exists. And as Andy Dufresne wrote in Shawshank Redemption, "Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things."
I'm looking for a team with the best of things. Those things include players I can root for and, at the very least, the chance to say "maybe next year" without giggling.
Milwaukee Brewers: When the Brewers not only stayed with the Cubs for the first half of the season, but upped the ante by grabbing CC Sabathia, I couldn't help but be excited. Not only was it a sign that a small-market team could build shrewdly, but that it could have the guts to go after what its fans deserve to see.
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| Even with a century of losing behind them, fans of the Cubs have some things to cheer about now. (Getty Images) |
Texas Rangers: With Josh Hamilton headlining a card that includes a number of great stories, the Rangers are more fun to watch than any other team. And since I'm not a baseball purist, I can root for a team that hosts a nightly carousel around the bases. (They have the most runs scored and the most runs allowed in the league.)
Tampa Bay Rays: If the lifetime fan of a small-market team can root for anything, it's the Yankees and Red Sox to get punched in the mouth. And whether the Rays ultimately fall short or not, I can certainly applaud their efforts for trying. They are young, feisty, fun and giving 110 percent to slay the giants. If that doesn't deserve my support, then what does?
Sonny Amato is a SPiN Contributor and regular contributor to The Meaningful Collateral.
