Urbs' Blurbs: The 'U' signs 7-year-old 'bad boy' to football scholarship

Latarian Milton is not your typical 7-year-old. His exploits made him perhaps the youngest person to ever gain a "bad boy" image, but they've also garnered him a big time college scholarship.

Does the University of Miami still have a 'hood rat' reputation?   67%  Definitely     33%  Not at all     Total Votes: 816

Impressed by the young boy's tenacity and love for doing "hoodrat stuff" with his friends, the University of Miami made Milton the youngest scholarship athlete in school history this past weekend.

"We know that he has a friend who smokes with cigarettes, but his tremendous upside outweighed all that," said Miami coach Randy Shannon.

Milton gained notoriety after winding up on the Palm Beach Gardens local newscast following an incident in which he stole his grandmother's SUV. With a 7-year-old friend riding shotgun, Milton ran over two mailboxes, hit two parked cars in a Costco parking lot and struck two moving cars near Wal-Mart.

"I wanted to do it because it's fun. It's fun to do bad things, and drive into a car," Milton said about the incident.

When asked if he realized that he could have killed someone, Milton said, "Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend."

While his actions and reasons for committing them might cause some people to shake their heads, the "U" welcomes Milton's behavior.

"We're really hoping to get back to our heyday," Shannon said. "Players like Michael Irvin and Ray Lewis knew what it took to be part of the 'U' and we think Latarian clearly has the same potential. "

Latarian Milton is definitely not your typical 7-year-old, he's much, much funnier. (CBSSports.com Wire)

The charges of grand theft were not the end for Milton, however. Latarian took his "bad boy" image to a new level inside a Lake Park Wal-Mart. The problem began when Latarian asked his grandmother to buy him some chicken wings. She said no, he got mad, and then he walked over and ordered them anyway.

When his grandmother confronted him, Milton proceeded to hit her in front of everyone at the whole Wal-Mart, upsetting the store's patrons.

"He just snapped," said Wal-Mart manager Biff Flores. "But if you paid close attention to his attack style, you can see the middle linebacker in him. He definitely has what it takes to play football for the 'U'."

At just 7 years old, Milton will avoid any jail time or legal trouble, and he realizes that his actions do deserve SOME sort of punishment.

When asked what that should be, he said: "Just a little bit, no video games for a whole weekend."

(Clearly this is a satirical piece, and yes, I am a Florida State Seminole. For the fans of the "U" who get mad over this, get over yourself. I know we at FSU recruit the same way, sometimes even worse. Personally, I'm just trying to make people laugh, and these videos made me laugh so hard I simply had to write about them. So if you hated the column because it wasn't funny, that's fine. But keep your hate mail and death threat message board posts to yourself.)

Make sure to check out these Latarian Milton YouTube videos for more laughs as well:

Jimmy Kimmell Live Latarian Milton Special

7-year-old joyride THE SONG!

It's Fun To Do Bad Things (Techno remix)