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Updated June 12
I wrote about God, and not in the nicest way. Soon He might just smite me. Would that make me smitten? Just wondering.
While we wait, some of you smote me first. Here in Hate Mail.
Smitten. I kill me ...
From: Martin Lansford
After reading your column on Christian athletes, I would like to point out one thing from the Bible, Gregg: Judge not, lest you be judged also.
Judge not? Jesus would have been one miserable sports columnist.
From: Chris P.
Sounds like you don't know what it is like to have the holy spirit in you! Roy Williams and I will pray for you that you will accept the lord Jesus Christ as your savior.
Couldn't you just pray for my right shoulder? It has been awfully sore lately.
From: Steve
Dude, we'll pray for you.
Don't forget my shoulder. I hope to turn pro as a boxer in about six months.
From: Jacob Loper
This article is extremely offensive and you ought to be ashamed for writing it. Maybe you should read the Bible again and get back into church. I don't know if I should feel sorry for you or just ignore how pathetic you are.
I have an idea: Could you pray for my shoulder?
From: Philip H.
You and Peter King of Sports Illustrated are my two favorite writers.
Thank you, Philip, but next time you're going to lump me in with another writer ... pick another writer.
From: John Bynum
You are completely wrong about the Belmont. I've been playing the ponies for years and have friends that are trainers and horsemen. Desormeaux really hurt Big Brown's chances when he fought him for the first quarter of the race. Horses don't respond to that well. Trust me: Horses rarely run well when their jockeys fight them like that.
Desormeaux is a Hall of Fame jockey. You're a degenerate gambler who hangs out with stable riff-raff. Me, trust you? Not even for a second.
From: Seth Ulrich.
Why are you so angry? Dutrow hasn't blamed Kent. What he said was: The only thing he can come up with was the ride. That did not mean twist words and say, "Kent is to blame for the loss." Why would you write such an angry, uncalled-for story?
And here I thought John Bynum was the week's biggest dummy. Looks like we have a new winner.
From: R. Gates
Gasol and Odom may suck, but they serve their purpose well. You need people in this capacity at work to let the real star shine. Kinda like you getting stuck with Freeman and Prisco.
Just so we're clear: I'm Kobe in that scenario, right?
From: Soham Joshi
Doyel, why didn't you go to college? I'm curious to learn how you started such a successful writing career without a journalism degree. Enlighten me please. Also, I don't like Mike Freeman's articles. And how much do you guys get paid?
Well, some of it was hustle, and some of it was being in the right place at the right time. After high school I quit taking classes so I could ... wait a minute. I went to college! And I got a journalism degree! And I learned how to use the exclamation mark! As for Freeman, he gets paid too much. Me? Not enough.
From: Guillermo
That Hate Mail sucked. While I enjoy the back-and-forth between you and the readers as much as the next guy, I would like something a little more civil in there too -- you know, to counter-balance the whole thing. If I wanted that level of vitriol, I could just go talk to my wife.
But she doesn't know you like I do.
From: Thomas Burns
I hate to appear stupid, but I need Vanna White to flip a few more letters to figure out that "Son of a w----" phrase from Hate Mail. May I buy a vowel? Is this a word I'm too old to know? Will you give me a rhyming word? It is truly driving me crazy.
The "w----" in question is a word that thymes with war. Actually it sounds like war. With an 'h'. The word is whore, is what I mean.
From: Give me a chance and I will destroy you
Bag of scum, just give me a chance and I will kick your dirty ass. You're just a loser trying to get some fame by constantly insulting great players like Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. But you've really put your foot into it by attacking Gasol. He has many people behind him, and we're going to make you pay. If I get you, don't doubt that you will suffer big time. Die soon; it's the best you can do.
Excellent usage of a semi-colon in that last sentence.
From: Village Idiot
After reading this week's installment of Hate Mail, I think that we are being duped. You really are either G.W. Bush or Dick Cheney. Their mail must look a lot like yours this week.
But their Editor's note: Pick another body part, Gregg brains are so much smaller than mine.
From: Gregg's D**K
Hi. I'm Gregg's D**K. I am very small and shriveled up, and haven't gotten any action in years. I've tried Viagra and a pump, but nothing seems to help.
Interesting. A note about this body part comes right after the Bush/Cheney e-mail. Very strange. It's almost like I placed this letter here for effect. Notice that I'm ignoring the crux of your e-mail. It's very mean, not to mention very odd.
From: Burton DeWitt
I found your article on Christian athletes boring after the fifth paragraph. You had a very good start and I was reeled in, but the list of athletes who have thanked God for something trivial was a little tedious. I'm sure you're going to get a lot of brutal e-mails on this, as well as probably some more from Spain, and we're overdue for someone complaining about an article you wrote three years ago and I look forward to those. But yeah, it wasn't your best article.
Ronn thought it was a thought-provoking article.
From: Ronn
Thanks for the thought-provoking article.
See!
From: Andy Anderson
This article pisses me off even though I am not a Christian. Right now I feel like busting both your CHEEKS!!!
The ones on my face, right?
From: George
Man look at yourself! You are such a dork! As far as going into all the Christianity stuff, you are way off base. I don't know where your head was when talking all that smack. Where do you think that is going to get you in your future?
I'd settle for a healthy shoulder.
From: Calvin
Your article about athletes sharing their Christian faith is garbage. Certainly there are plenty of athletes who get saved and screw up. They are probably not the best group of people to spend time with if you are trying to walk the straight and narrow path.
That was my point! And by the way, Luther kicked Calvin's ass.
From: Blake
God, I hate Freeman ...
Don't ask me why, but this note made me giggle. Maybe because I keep thinking: Why did you send this to me?
From: Tokyo Joe
Who is your boss? Has he reviewed this article? You are not professional.
Which article? You've got to narrow it down for me. Was it this one? Or maybe this one?
From: Chris G., your only fan in Vermont
I used to hate you, but now I think you're awesome. But one thing I can't stop myself from saying is that you were no Kyle Johnston, Stratford All-State 1999-2003. All-state every year -- even the great Gregg Doyel could not do that.
First of all, I have plenty of fans in Vermont. Second, unlike me, Kyle Johnston wasn't all-state in soccer, too.
From: Jonathan Canoe
I just read a Freeman article. Now I know why you feel so smug/safe with your job.
Does Freeman get this many mean notes about me?
From: Thomas Marshall
You, Gregg Doyel, need to keep your head out of people's faiths and beliefs. You are a mockery! I cannot believe you wrote an article like that! If someone wants to dedicate his life to Christ, then let there not be any restrictions or obstacles. You mock Christianity!
You'd think I'd be struck dead faster than you c ...