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2. You're running for your life: Forget, for a moment, Detroit -- it's a Bizzaro World in the AL, period. Of the Four Superpowers, the New York Yankees and Boston are at the bottom of the AL East, and Cleveland and Detroit are at the bottom of the AL Central.
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The Yankees lost two of three to Tampa Bay over the weekend while manager Joe Girardi was missing two games with an upper respiratory infection and lefty Andy Pettitte was attempting to atone for past sins in his first start of the season. Though he would be charged with the loss Saturday, Pettitte was greeted warmly by the crowd of 52,247.
"I'd be lying if I didn't say that it was great," said Pettitte, who lied about taking human growth hormone before the Mitchell Report forced him to come clean, so you be the judge of whether you really believe he thinks it was great.
Meanwhile, the Red Sox welcomed ace Josh Beckett back in Toronto on Sunday by committing four errors -- three by shortstop Julio Lugo -- and David Ortiz would fit right into the Tigers lineup. He's hitting .115.
So quick, let's change the subject before somebody accidentally includes the slow-starting Yankees and Red Sox in the One Shining Moment montage.
3. You're a shooting star: In the museum that is Wrigley Field, Kosuke Fukudome has become an immediate icon. He was 8-for-16 before taking an 0-for-3 collar Sunday, and Cubs fans already are swooning.
Manager Lou Piniella doesn't have time to swoon. He wasted no time in impatiently shuffling his lineup multiple times, leading to a couple of early-season classics.
Tired of being asked about his thinking on the lineup every day, Piniella generously has offered to "help" the Chicago writers do their jobs just as they prod him about his.
"I'm going to ask that you all call me before you write your articles," he said. "And I'll give you all some pointers."
I'm not sure how difficult Piniella thinks the writers have it, though. Because he also told them this week that changing the lineup wasn't exactly sweat-inducing.
"It's not the most difficult thing to do in the world," Piniella quipped. "It's not as hard as doing the crossword puzzle of the New York Times."
4. Time is short: First update for all who thought St. Louis' rotation would knock the Cardinals out of the NL Central race by the end of the opening week (including a baseball columnist whom I won't name): The Cardinals' 5-1 start is their best since the 2000 club opened 7-1, and their starting pitchers have surrendered only four runs in 37 2/3 innings pitched for a spiffy 0.95 ERA. Suddenly, the returns of former Cy Young winner Chris Carpenter and All-Stars Mark Mulder and Matt Clement aren't quite so urgent.
5. The road is long: The defending NL champion Colorado Rockies lost five of their first six, setting up, well, you know what. They keep going at this pace, they're going to have to win 21 of 22 games during one stretch this year. And then do it two or three more times.
6. In the blinking of an eye: Hitters blinked and missed over and over as Petco Park, the stadium that eats hitters like movie theatre popcorn, opened for another year of business. What we learned this weekend from a clash of NL West contenders San Diego and Los Angeles:
Right-hander Hiroki Kuroda, who limited the Padres to one run on three hits in seven innings on Friday, should really help a Dodgers rotation that already includes Brad Penny, Derek Lowe and Chad Billingsley.
Cy Young winner Jake Peavy has the stuff to make it two in a row. Peavy was exceptional in throwing baseball's first complete game this season on Saturday, holding the Dodgers to two hits. Peavy only worked into the eighth once last season while leading the majors with a 2.54 ERA and 240 strikeouts.
In two appearances, Peavy has allowed only one earned run in 16 innings for a 0.56 ERA -- and that was during an odd play on which the Dodgers' Rafael Furcal was waved home from third when Padres catcher Josh Bard caught a foul pop while sliding down the dugout steps. Had he stayed on his feet while on the dugout steps, Furcal would have had to stay at third.
"The biggest thing has been that his fastball command has been good," Bard said. "Last year was his best year and it was because his fastball was the most consistent, command-wise. I know people have been talking this year about him throwing more change-ups, but it's his fastball command."
We'll see a repeat of the Peavy-Brad Penny matchup Friday in Dodger Stadium, where you can be sure the Los Angeles faithful will let Peavy hear about this.
7. That moment is gone: Oakland is homecoming for Cleveland ace C.C. Sabathia. Somebody forgot to inform the Athletics, though, that it's Sabathia's homecoming, not the other way around. Instead, it's been like Louisiana State scheduling, say, Slippery Rock. The Athletics whacked Sabathia again Saturday, and now he's 1-4 with a 7.12 lifetime ERA in Oakland.
8. One shining moment: Bill Hall agreed to take third base from Ryan Braun in Milwaukee this season only if general manager Doug Melvin promised to leave him there for good because Hall, who played center field last year, does not want to be labeled as a super-utilityman. Well, after the man thumped two homers and collected a career-high six RBI in Friday's rout of San Francisco, the last thing anybody is going to do is peg Hall as a utilityman.
A big day from a guy who slumped to 14 homers and 63 RBI last season (while playing center) after collecting 35 and 85 the year before (while playing shortstop).
"When you switch positions, especially when it's something you've never done before, it takes a lot of time and work," Hall told me this spring. "I never make excuses, but it was a lot of work and I slacked off on my hitting. I was a little more tired. My legs were a little more dead. When you're in the outfield, sometimes your legs aren't in as good a shape as you thought."
9. You reach deep inside: Your wallet, as first-year Yankee Morgan Ensberg learned the hard way last week. Driving home from Yankee Stadium, he was socked with a $50 ticket for talking on his cell phone. New York cops declined to cut him a break despite his out-of-state plates and his plea that he didn't know New York law.
10. You knew you were alive: Sunday's Johan Santana-John Smoltz matchup in Atlanta? What a day, especially for Smoltz. Santana-Smoltz in the NL and Josh Beckett-Roy Halladay in Toronto in the AL.
Not bad for the season's first full Sunday. Not bad at all.
