Roger Clemens has made the word misremember infamously cool. And, as such, I would like to work it into my daily lexicon whenever possible.
In fact, I can think of several moments in my life in which I would most enjoy misremembering. Most of these moments likely occurred in high school and college, and involved some degree of intoxication. But the first time I met Sal Bando, I made a complete fool out of myself and I was completely sober. I mean, it's Sal Bando! It's not as if it were Cecil Cooper, Robin Yount, Gorman Thomas or Paul Molitor.
The story goes like this ... I was interning with the Milwaukee Brewers in the Summer of 1995 and I arrive at work one day and I see Bando walking toward me in the office hallway. At the time, Bando was the Brewers' GM, but he was a pretty good player with Oakland during the 1970s. He was at the backend of his career when he played with Milwaukee in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Anyway, I grab his attention and in about a minute's time I attempt to tell Bando how much the 1981 Brewers meant to me.
'I would like to thank you for that season, Mr. Bando,' I said. 'I was 9 years old at the time and it was great to experience a postseason. Granted, Mr. Bando, it was a strike-shortened season, and you were a bit player and injured a lot, and Milwaukee lost to the Yankees in the playoffs, but it meant an awful lot to me ...' Blah, blah, blah!
I guess when I get nervous I try to fit an hour's worth of conversation into a minute and this could not have been more true in this particular instance. Meanwhile, he doesn't say one word to me. He takes in my ramblings, smiles, and then walks away. It didn't take me but a few seconds to realize that I was a blithering idiot. I felt like Chris Farley in those Saturday Night Live skits in which he nervously interviewed celebrities:
"Mr Bando, rem, rem, rem, remember when Rollie, I mean Rollie Fingers, struck out Detroit's Lou Whitaker on a 1-2 pitch to clinch the pennant for the Brewers in '81? ... Do you remember that? ... Yeah, that was so awesome!"
Anyway, that's a moment I'd most like to misremember. I sure I'm not the only one who has rambled on like this in a moment of pure fright.