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OK, not naked. But you understand the point.
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Who knows how this season will end for them, but the fact this team with no-names at wideout and some guy named Laurence Maroney at running back -- wasn't he on Welcome Back, Kotter? -- is 6-1 is a testament to Belichick.
In sports today, there is no single commodity more imperative to his or her respective franchise than Belichick.
You read that right.
Belichick is the most valuable piece of sports property going, more valuable than Kobe Bryant to the Los Angeles Lakers, Tony La Russa to the St. Louis Cardinals or Jim Tressel to Ohio State. More than Peyton "Stat Boy" Manning, the ultra-smart Mark Cuban or Paul Tagliabue was or David Stern or Bud Selig is now.
You read that right, too.
In the biggest, baddest league of them all, where franchises and talent hold up trophies one moment and are swallowed up by a black hole of 5-11 the next, the Commodity has somehow kept the Patriots dominant.
The best comparison to what Belichick is doing is what Paul Brown accomplished in Cleveland in the 1950s.
And make no mistake: It is almost all Belichick. He has an outstanding, supportive owner and a franchise quarterback, but this is Belichick's deal.
He is given credit by some, but there are still an alarming number of goofs who want to credit Brady when things go well for the Patriots and rip Belichick when things go bad.
Many in the media hate Belichick. They despise him. He can be a pain, to be sure. He sometimes has as much personality as a piece of foam rubber. If it were up to him, the media's private parts would be irradiated so we could not multiply.
His chilly greeting to his former assistant and current Jets coach Eric Mangini after the Patriots beat the Jets earlier this year was painful to watch. Is it going to kill you to show a little warmth to an old pal, Bill? Jeez.
I understand all that.
What is happening, though, is the media's dislike of Belichick affects the judgment of him as a coach and general manager. That is why so many people underestimated the Patriots this year despite a lengthy track record of losing key personnel in the past and still winning.
Many in the media wanted the Patriots to fail so Belichick would be taught a lesson and get a little egg on the face.
It is an interesting phenomenon, who we like and who we do not. Bill Parcells treats the media like the plague; he spits on us. Yet writers and TV types still like him because he is an entertaining quote.
It's about results, isn't it? Not who gives the best press conference.
What Belichick is doing cannot be underestimated or underappreciated. Branch and David Givens are gone. The Patriots keep clicking along. They sign 92-year-old Junior Seau. They keep clicking along. They say buh-bye to kicker Adam Vinatieri. They keep clicking along.
When New England plays Indianapolis, the Colts will bring weapons like Marvin Harrison, a Hall of Famer, and Reggie Wayne, who is quickly emerging as a top-five wideout.
The Patriots? They have guys named Doug Gabriel, Troy Brown, Reche Caldwell and Chad Jackson. Gabriel, all of a sudden, looks like Lynn Swann.
How do you explain that? The Commodity, that's how.
The old timers in the media scoff at Belichick's success while having erotic dreams about Chuck Noll. They say the Commodity simply lucked into Brady and Brady is the reason for all of the Super Bowls. Brady does not play running back, however. He does not catch passes. There have to be players around Brady for it to work, and Belichick has created the best personnel assembly line in the history of football.
When Branch was traded, there were Patriots players in near tears. It was viewed as the end of all civilization. Defensive lineman Richard Seymour said the announcement that Branch was gone "took the air out of me."
How is the air now at 6-1, Senor Seymour? Oxygenated enough for you?
The Patriots might still lose to the Colts on Sunday, but they will still be a force in the postseason no matter what happens. They have Belichick running things.
We should now finally understand what that means.
